Drowning in the shower.

"I'm going to have a shower now, If I'm not back in twenty minutes, I may have drowned," I told my brother yesterday. After realising the pointlessness of that comment I went to get on with my duties in the bathroom, leaving my brother in a state of wonderment.

I call that pointless because telling my brother that I might drown is pointless; he probably wouldn't give a whisker's tinkle even though I may have just defied that laws of the universe by drowning in the shower.

A Number Behind Perfection

Φ = 1.618 033... . Our attraction to someone increases if their face is in proportion, and follows the golden ratio.

This means that when the sum of a and b is divided by the larger part, a, it gives the same number, a multiple of 1.618033... as when a is divided by b. This can be repeated for any number and it will always give the same ratio.

This face is seen as attractive because it follows the golden rule, you could take from the hair line to the bottom of the nose as a and from the bottom of the nose to the bottom of the chin as b.

Leonardo da Vinci found this in his Vitruvian Man, taking the length from the belly button to the footas a, and from the belly button to the head as b.

I think this explains it a lot more.

http://blog.echoenduring.com/2010/07/31/imperfect-perfection-the-golden-ratio/

What I overheard

I just watched a documentary bailing out banks, and there was an interview with a woman, betrayed into giving out her money to greedy bankers. Taken for a fool. To her upmost anger she exclaimed, "I put my money in Northern Rock! It is Northern. It is a ROCK!"
I think television is being dumbed down...

Pork sausage and apple pie

So I've decided to start putting recipies on my blog, because I think that cooking is such a wonderful thing, but many people look over it because they think that it is terrible complicated and on parr with rocket science. I beg to differ and so I will provide my followers with handy recipes and ideas.


So to start of, I was going through an old recipe book and was intrigued by this little something. Sausage and apple pie? Mind=blown. Oh and before I start, this is a savoury pie.


Ingredients:
A 400g packet of Jus Roll puff pastry
450g good quality pork sausage meat, or just sausages
3-4 sage leaves
Nutmeg
3 eating apples
1 egg yolk
Salt and pepper


Half the pastry and roll both pieces out into shapes vaguely recognisable as squares on a floured surface. Then, press it into a 21-23cm round pie plate.
If you bought sausage meat, spread it out over the base, if you bought sausages, don't worry, well you might have to because this next step is greusome; squeze the sausage meat out of the tubing it comes in.
Scatter the sage leaves over it and season lightly with salt, pepper and nutmeg.
Peel, core and cut up the apples and place them on the meat.
With the remaining pastry, form a lid. It is okay if there is some excess pastry, because you can roll it up to for a crust around the rim.
Poke a couple of holes in the lid and brush the beaten egg wash over the top.
Chill in the fridge for half an hour.
Put a baking tray in the centre of the oven and pre-heat 220°C/425°F/Gas 7.
Brush the pastry with the remaining egg wash and pop it in the oven on the baking tray so it gets an instant blast of heat. After 15 minutes, reduce the heat to 180°C/350°F/Gas 4 and cook for a futhur 30-40 minutes.
Test with a skewer to see if the apples are tender and the meat has been properly cooked.
Serve with a choice of potatoes and some vegetables. 


Done

James Blake- Limit to your love

Just something.

Something very, very strange happened to me today.

Today is 11/1/11 and after a recommendation from a friend I searched iTunes to buy a song.

To my surprise my iTunes account contain £11.11.

Not in the slightest bit suspicious...

What scares me.

I'm scared that one day my eye sight will get really bad not even glasses will be able to cure it.

I'm scared that Jehovah's witnesses will get into my house.

I'm scared that I'll wake up with a dagger on my pillow and dead bodies at the foot of my bed and know nothing.

I'm scared that one day I'll lose all my creative juices and write boring blogs about financial growth.

I'm scared that one day my family and friends won't recognise me.

I'm scared that I'll be like everyone else.

I'm scared that I'll hurt someone really badly.

I'm scared that I'll have no future career and I'll opt for the prostitution.

I'm scared that my feet will fall off due to cold weather.

I'm scared that I'll never see snow again.

I'm scared that my brother will turn evil normal.

I'm scared that I'll never see blue sky or the sun, just clouds.

I'm scared that I'll wake up with a ladybird on my nose.

I'm scared that I'll get so spoilt Ill take the smaller things for granted.

I'm scared that in the future everyone will become so narrow minded they wont accept people who are the tiniest bit different to them.

I'm scared that people who read this blog will find out through scrutinising tiny details where I live, get offended by something or another and find me and savagely kill me. Or bow down at my feet.

I'm scared that Ill forget how to be happy.

I'm scared that this post will go on forever and my blog will get a bad name as being the rambling thoughts of a half maniac.

4 Chord Song

Alternative New Year Resolutions to anger other people

• If you have a glass eye, occasionally tap it with your pen whilst talking to other people.
• Push all the flat lego pieces together tightly.
• Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
• Leave the scanner set to reduce by 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
• Reply to what everyone says with "That's what you think".
• Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
• Shout random numbers whilst someone else is counting.
• Drum on every surface available.
• Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make "croaking" noises.
• Repeat everything someone says as a question.
• Write "X- BURIED TREASURE" at random spots on maps.
• Wander around restaurants asking others for some parsley.
• Publicly pretend to be on the search for some invisible demon, asking every other person you see if they have seen one.
• As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Sit on the pavement, and point your hair dryer at cars to see if they slow down.
• Sing along to the opera.
• Never break eye contact.
• Invite lots of random people to other people's parties.

This took me hours